originally posted at https://canmom.tumblr.com/post/813594...
Computer graphics is full of obscure and difficult terminology!
But worry not. We at canmom are here to help! Here presenting the ongoing canmom glossary of computer graphics jargon.
2020 edition
- light transport
- buses, trams and low capacity rail
- Metropolis light transport
- art deco buses, trams and low capacity rail. gecko dancing robot optional but recommended
- BRDF
- Bordigist Red Dissenter Faction, a minor left communist group with six members, who formally disbanded in 1995
- baking
- very important for scenes containing bread
- retopology
- the academic study of experimenting with a receptive role in gay sex, but finding it disappointing
- shader
- a small program designed to run in parallel, which takes in vertex data and uses it to say cruel things to your enemies
- triangle
- a musical instrument
- keyframe
- a small gilded rectangle for displaying encryption data
- deferred rendering
- when you forget to render your project before the deadline
- rigging
- used to swing aboard an adjacent animation studio
- NURBS
- not an acronym, just stated with the proper emphasis
- raymarching
- a variant of raytracing usually seen at parades and sporting events
- chromatic aberration
- the offspring of a red dragon and a mind flayer
- PBR
- parboiled rice, used primarily as a religious offering in the context of computer graphics
- Bezier curve
- the number of years it would take you to earn the current net worth of Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos, thereby becoming more Bezy. monotonically increasing with time.
2025 edition
we are pleased to announce a new 2025 edition of the canmom glossary of computer graphics!
- SPIR-V
- used to make your hors-v go faster
- Oren-Nayar
- mathematical formula describing a big pizza pie
- microfacet
- unit of measurement for insincerity
- cubemap
- map() * map() * map() or map(map(map())). language-dependent
- draw call
- unsucesssful combination of the party games “pictionary” and “telephone”
- demoscene
- pronounced de-mosc-een. we think it’s a type of triangle?
- GGX
- common saying for when you just played a good game, so you want to give the other player a little kissie
- blit
- past participle of blight
- RTGI
- Real TransGender Info, a website from the 90s well known in the computer graphics scene
- MSAA, FXAA, TAA, DLAA…
- apotropaic incantation, used to drive away the demon known as Djyagiz
- G-buffer
- region of memory storing the value 0x47
- pixel, voxel, texel, dexel, hogel
- small pieces of data belonging respectively to a picture, a volume, a texture, a pokémon encyclopedia, and a pig
2026 edition
we are pleased to announce a new 2026 edition of the canmom glossary of computer graphics!
- SDF
- Self Defence Force. while, by treaty, GPUs tend to possess unspectacular armed forces, careful negotiation is important when sending data into GPU land to prevent counterinvasion of the PCIe bus
- scene
- a semi-ritualistic practice in which geometric primitives are dressed up in revealing shaders, tied up in a bounding volume hierarchy, and hit repeatedly with rays. not to be confused with ‘emo’
- allocator
- an adorable fusion of feline and saurian, commonly sighted in the foothills of Vulkan and northern DirectX 12
- splatting
- see “bukkake”
- gaussian splatting
- an esoteric type of scene originating at BDSM clubs in Göttingen; the researchers believe the association with Carl Friedrich Gauss is apocryphal, but what if, you know?
- polar coordinates
- once commonly seen in computer graphics, climate change has made this species severely endangered. conservation efforts are underway
- SSS
- materials such as skin and wax do not look believable unless you hiss like a snake while programming. this technique was discovered by accident in the mid 2000s as a fortuitous byproduct of wiring up an adder
- visibility buffer
- contains transgender people on March 31 of each year
- amd
- common misspelling of ‘and’
- nvidia
- common abbreviation for ‘invidious’
- stanford bunny, stanford dragon, stanford armadillo
- widely beloved furry OCs which get a lot of fanart from graphics programmers
- softbody
- take estrogen and you will be rewarded =)
supplemental: a guide to shaders
- vertex shader
- a waterproof, breathable type of shader used to render outdoor clothing
- fragment shader
- used by witches to establish complex metafictional games
- pixel shader
- pseudonym used by fragment shaders rendering genre fiction
- geometry shader
- after widespread condemnation of the geometry shader’s untoward remarks about the GPU pipeline put an end to its career in graphics, it has sadly fallen into the sordid world of right-wing podcasts and tabloid columns
- hull shader
- a niche type of shader, primarily used by residents of yorkshire
- domain shader
- rejected proposal to speed up internet address resolution with GPUs
- compute shader
- the swiss army knife of shaders. literally; it has a corkscrew and stuff
- mesh shader
- mostly used for rendering nightclubs
- tensor shader
- shader which contains covariant and contravariant components in a curved space
- ray generation shader
- sorts rays into categories like ‘millennial’, ‘zoomer’ and ‘gen alpha’ for appropriately targeted mockery
- closest hit shader
- uses the full power of massively parallel computing to look up the nearest weed stash
- miss shader
- controversial beauty pageant; currently judged on a combination of categories like variable naming, instruction count and branch coherence
Comments