👑💖 liveblog
in which we fight many children and learn of Donald Duck’s vast eldritch power
It's 2002. Final Fantasy is at the height of its popularity. What's the next step? Unquestionably, a crossover with every Disney movie. Thus, Square commissioned Kingdom Hearts, and Tetsuya Nomura started penning one of the most impenetatrably complex game narratives out there. In mid-2017 I tried diving in.
👑💖 liveblog pt. 2
in which ducklings can absolutely run a business, thanks
👑💖 liveblog pt. 3
in which we meet a Very Cool Man
👑💖 liveblog pt. 4
in which we cause a diplomatic incident
👑💖 liveblog pt. 5
in which we dodge roll a lot
👑💖 liveblog pt. 6
in which the guy there somehow made friends with every Disney villain
👑💖 liveblog pt. 7
in which a genie lacks imagination and we learn to paint
👑💖 liveblog pt. 8
in which our adventures take a turn for the anatomically improbable
👑💖 liveblog pt. 9
in which we encounter half the fetishes of DeviantArt
👑💖 liveblog pt. 10
in which we help Pooh get his fix
👑💖 liveblog pt. 11
in which we beat up a house
👑💖 liveblog pt. 12
in which we throw ourselves at the ground, and miss
👑💖 liveblog pt. 13
in which we conquer Greece
👑💖 liveblog pt. 14
in which Maleficent steals the show and it’s not nearly the end
👑💖 liveblog pt. 15
in which Sora somehow manages not to die from large keys
👑💖 liveblog pt. 16
in which we’re saved from Donald Duck by the awe-inspiring power of heterosexuality
👑💖 liveblog pt. 17
in which Kurt Zisa kicks my ass and savestates can’t save me
👑💖 liveblog pt. 18
in which heterosexuality fails to detract from how cool my spaceship is now
👑💖 liveblog pt. 19
in which the princesses are in this very castle, actually
👑💖 liveblog pt. 20
in which we abuse savestates for a somewhat hollow revenge, and win the biggest tournament
👑💖 liveblog pt. 21
in which we fail to beat Sephiroth and instead run to the end of the world(s) (but not At World’s End, which is a very different Disney property)
👑💖 liveblog pt. 22
in which we suffer the worst weapon of the Heartless yet: free verse
👑💖 liveblog pt. 23
in which we use quantum immortality to find the one universe where Sephiroth doesn’t utterly destroy us, and erase Christopher Robin from history
👑💖 liveblog pt. 24
in which we break Ansem and his weird phallus boat
👑💖 liveblog pt. 25
the end, in which we know a king by his squeak and otherwise find ourselves very confused